Thursday, February 12, 2015

Quitting

I have a loyal streak a mile long. That means, when it comes to quitting something, everything in me vehemently protests at the mere thought.

I’m also as stubborn as a mull. If I made a decision about something I’m going to stick with it, even if it kills me!

But over the past few years, I’ve had to quit way more things than I thought I could stomach. In high school, this quitting streak seemed to have begun and just about every year I have had to give up something big. It started with moving out of an AP class sophomore year, then the next year I removed myself from a club I’d created, then breaking my promise to go to prom with my friends, then in my college years… Where do I even begin?

Needless to say, I’ve had to give up my fair share of things and, let me tell you, letting go stinks. Every time I had to loosen my grasp of something, it felt like I had to rip a part of myself out and just flippantly toss it away, but I wanted to scream and rave instead.

Standing at the end of all these things, I’m starting to see why I needed to give up some of them. For instance, I needed to let go of the stubborn pride that made me believe I was supposed to major in Mechanical Engineering or Computer Science. I’m better for giving those up, but some of the other decisions to quit things near destroyed me.

With all of those difficult times, I can only say that life is hard. Sometimes things are ripped from you and sometimes you have to release them. The things that happen don’t always make sense and sometimes they never will, but they shape who we are.

Even though quitting all those things chipped away at me, I wouldn’t change even one of them. They made me who I am today and shaped the life I now lead.

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