Hattie, Philip, & Viola

Young Philip & Hattie

On this trip to Florida, I have been learning a whole lot about my extended family. One couple and their niece have really stuck with me and I’ve been so interested in learning more about them. At this point, I haven’t done any research online (my internet capabilities are limited), but I intend to sometime, which will probably be after I get back to Texas.

My great-grandfather’s sister Hattie, from what I’ve heard, seems like a super sweet Christian lady. She married Philip Hampsten.

Viola & Hattie

Then, here’s where the story gets a bit more interesting, my great-grandfather’s brother, George, was the father of Viola. See Viola was his last child from his first marriage. Her mom died, I think, shortly after Viola was born. While Viola was young it sounds like Hattie and Philip took her in for a time.

At some point Viola moved back in with her father, who remarried and had more children. There sounds like there was some tension between integrating the families, or something, but I don’t want to get into that.

Throughout the years it sounds like Viola stayed close with Hattie and Philip. When she was old enough to leave home, she moved in with them. They stayed a happy little family for quite a few years. I have many letters that were sent to my great-grandmother from Hattie during those many years.

Announcing Henrietta's (Hattie) Funeral

On March 9, 1969, Hattie passed away. The last letter we have from her was written on January 1, 1969, but her handwriting is so shaky that it is super hard to read.

At some point after that, Viola and Philip married. It was the proper thing to do, since they were still planning on living in the same house. Definitely in that time, it was improper to have an unmarried man and woman living together.

Viola wrote a few letters to my great-grandmother, but not nearly as much as Hattie did. In a letter she wrote on November 10, 1980, she mentions rushing ‘Daddy’ to the hospital. I have no idea if the ‘Daddy’ she is referring to is Philip, but her dad, George, died in 1957, so it’s easy to say it wasn’t him. From this, their marriage definitely sounds like just the thing they did for propriety sake.

Announcing Philip's Funeral

On June 20, 1994, Philip passed away and Viola was heartbroken. In her letters she refers to Philip as ‘her heart.’ (Excerpt from a Letter written on August 3, 1994) “I am writing you with a heavy heart. My sweet heart went to be with the Lord June 20^th at 5:00AM.” In another letter from December of that same year she writes this: “I miss my sweet heart so much. It is so lonely without him.”

My mind totally riddles with what her words mean. I’m sure they were very close and definitely had the relationship similar to best friends. They had about 25 years together before Philip passed away. I’m totally not trying to suggest anything, but my mind does wonder.

At first, I thought that Viola had passed away in 1994 as well, but I later found out she lived four more years and died in 1998. Hattie and Philip had no children that survived (they had a baby, but she died as an infant), so there is no one to ask about them. I really wish I could have met them. They sound like amazing people and this short write-up doesn’t do them justice.

Viola, Hattie, & Philip (sometime before Hattie passed away).

God's Love

I am completely floored by how much God loves us.

I constantly think of God’s love in the perspective of my feeble and ignorant mind. My human brain that can’t fathom perfection. My weak flesh that can be tempted into so much. My stained and muddied soul that doesn’t always shy away from sinful behavior.

But when I really stop to think about his love, I’m struck dumb.

God loves us so much that He still created us even though He knew we would break His heart over and over again. He knew of Adam and Eve’s betrayal before He spoke them into being, but He still created them. He knew all the pain we would cause Him.

How can someone know every heartbreak that is yet to come and still go ahead with creation? But He isn’t just a someone, He is God. His love is infinite. His knowledge and power are infinite. His wrath can be infinite.

I can’t even fathom a love that deep and pure. Nothing in this world could ever compare. I don’t even know how to love like that.

God is love.

God knew He would have to sacrifice His pure and holy son to save the retched humankind, but He loved us so much that He did. He sacrificed His son! How many of us could do the same? How many of us would willingly wade into heartache? How many of us would shower mercy and forgiveness on those that have betrayed and hurt us? How many of us would give out so many second chances? How many of us would keep wooing those that slap us in the face with our sin?

No, we definitely don’t love like God loves. Even when we are so filthy with sin, He still declares that we are wonderfully made. He sees beauty and potential in us. We are His children and He loves like no other force imaginable.

Even in the face of such love, we will still run from it. We want to do our own thing, go our own way. We think we know best and we shatter to pieces when our desires lead to our downfall. We are so broken and in need of His vast love.

I will cling desperately to His love even though it is way more than I deserve.

Boy Band Review

Today I want to review Boy Band by: Jacqueline E Smith.

The Kind of September is the hottest boy band and Melissa Parker is best friends with one of its founding members, Sam Morneau. She travels with the band as an intern and is smack dab in the midst of all the drama surrounding the band. Not to mention, she’d secretly in love with Sam. Trying to hide her feeling from him gets harder by the day and rumors keep circulating about different members of the band.

I absolutely loved this book! I could not put it down. In being friends with the author, I got a peek at this book when Jackie was still writing it. From the glimpses I got, I just wanted more.

This book didn’t feel like an indie book at all. All the characters were amazing and there was so much angsty drama that kept me completely entertained throughout it. With having so many characters, it can sometimes be difficult to keep up with all the different relationship, personalities, and dynamics, but Jackie did a great job. Everyone’s personality came through clearly and they were all so unique.

Jackie even wrote out some of the song lyrics for The Kind of September’s songs that accompanied each chapter. Typically in books, I grow bored by this kind of thing, but I didn’t with Boy Band. The lyrics flowed so nicely and I believed they could actually be songs that would be sung today.

Overall, this book was so great and exceeded my expectations (which were fairly high since I had gotten one of the first glimpses at the book when it was being written). I literally read it in one sitting and couldn’t put it down.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves the drama and angst with teen romance, without the dreaded love triangle. It was witty and fun – a great ride for anyone who wants to sit back and be thoroughly entertained for a few hours.

Oh, and quickly, the ending just makes me want more!

Update Number Two

It’s kind of about time that I give another update of my time in Florida. Really, before I do, I just have to gush a bit about how I have another nephew! Little Carl Jacob Jeffery Rohleder was born on June 12^th! I’m really sad I won’t get to see him for another month, but he is so adorable from the pictures I’ve seen.

Photo Credit: Chris Rohleder

Honestly, it really stinks to be so far away from my family when something so exciting happens. It definitely solidifies my desired to always live close to my family (the Lord willing). Family means the world to me and I can’t imagine a future without them close. I’m sure it would break my heart if I had to live far away for very long.

Okay, sorry about the pity party. Now on to other exciting things, well I guess exciting for me… I’m learning so much about my family history. I’ve definitely even started to like some of my relatives over others and feel defensive when I hear stories of the relative saying anything bad about others. I’m weird. I know it.

The worst thing in all of this, is that most of the people I’m learning so much about (through their letters and stories that my great aunt is telling me) have passed away. I will never get to meet them and the most I can get to know them is through the things they left behind.

It’s still really cool to read the letters and know that the things they talked about actually went on in the past. I’ve seen letters as far back as the 1940s! It’s so cool and to think that it’s all a part of my history! It really changes your perspective when the pieces of history are related to people that are family, however distant.

One of my proudest accomplishments so far is actually puzzling out my great grandfather’s family picture. My aunt pointed out some people, but most of the children were unknown to her. Based on ages and a bit of deductive reasoning, I think I just placed a name to every face. Now, I can never be one hundred percent sure that I’m right, but I think I’ve gotten as close as anyone could get.

William & Letha are my great-grandparents. Paul is my great uncle. Edward August and Mary Elizabeth are my great-great-grandparents. Mary, Charlie, Sophie, Hattie, Edward, George, William, and Emma (listed in their birth order) are the children of Edward August and Mary Elizabeth. The rest are spouses.

And these are all the children of the various couples. All the kids ages are next to their names because that's partly what I used to figure out who each one was. Mary's oldest son I figured was not there at the time. His age suggests that he'd left home, maybe to get married, maybe to go to college. I don't know.

Other than those things, I’ve just mostly been reading and writing a bit. I can’t believe my trip is already halfway over. Before I know it, I’ll be back in Texas and real life, but I am sure having fun here.

Cinder and Ella Review

I have been meaning to start actually writing reviews for the books I have been reading, but I just haven’t gotten to it until today.

The first book I’m going to review is Cinder and Ella by: Kelly Oram.

This book is about an internet relationship between two individuals. They started messaging each other and over the past three years, they became best friends. Ellamara gets into an accident early on in the book and it leaves her scared and crippled. She’s forced to move in with the dad that abandoned her ten years ago, who has a whole new family. Brian is the hottest new up and coming celebrity. His life is hectic with the release of his newest movie and a relationship he didn’t ask for. They don’t know who the other is, but they are friends nonetheless.

Having read and loved two other books by Kelly Oram, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on another. Her writing is just so gripping and all the books I’ve read by her, I couldn’t put down. Her character are witty and her books are just so entertaining.

With that said, I want to mention that I typically shy away from books like this one. The young adult genre can be filled to the brim with the characters main concerns being about having sex and the raging emotions. I don’t enjoy reading that, so I’m always careful when picking up a YA book (normally I’ve stuck with dystopian YA). However, this book was amazing and had didn’t have any of that to bother me. Yes, there was mention of Brian hooking up with girls and he’s a merciless flirt, but the book didn’t cross any of my lines.

I loved that Kelly Oram didn’t shy away from the issues that Ella was going through. From anxiety to depression to bullying, everything felt real. Ella’s character had so much more depth than I ever imagined when I read the synopsis. The book doesn’t do what so many others have – to their detriment – and act like after something so traumatic, the main character could just move on. This book showed Ella’s scars in a way that really endeared her to me and I felt all her wounds as she did.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there was tons of fun banter between Cinder (Brian) and Ella. I laughed and gasped so many times during this book. As many times as it was serious, the book was also lighthearted and funny.

This book exceeded my expectations (which were high to begin with, since I had loved other of Kelly’s books) and I recommend it to anyone that loves a lighthearted, fun, and emotional romance.

Lastly here are a few quotes that struck me and I just had to stop and reread them a few times before I could keep reading the book:

“A great character needs trials to overcome – experiences to give them depth, to make them vulnerable, relatable, and likable. Good characters need hardships to make them strong. The idea makes sense, but it still sucks if you’re the heroine.”

“‘You want to know why you’ve never been able to make me cry?’ I asked. ‘Because you’re trying to tear down someone who’s already hit rock bottom. You can’t make me feel any worse about myself than I already do.’” (I just about cried with this.)

“I’d always wondered how such a hero, who spent so much time helping others, could be the villain of my story.”

Technology and All That Comes With It

I’ve been spending the summer with my great aunts and uncles, who are all rather mature in years, and it’s gotten me to thinking about how some of the older generations feel about technology. This post is not at all inspired by their attitudes, but I’ve been thinking about it because of them.

I can sometimes see the older generations distrust of technology. They think the way they’ve always known is tried and true, so they don’t see a need for all the fancy technology. That, or they have either been duped by a scam (made easier by technology) or they see how people can misuse it.

I completely agree that the internet holds a whole bunch of junk on it and so many people use the anonymity as an excuse to be rude. Our level of privacy is shrinking every day because of it. People can be completely ruined by the stupid stuff they post on the internet. Hackers and scammers can reach your personal information.

If you just dwell on the bad, you will never be able to see the good.

With the internet, I can look up information I need to know, the second I need to know it. Information is free flowing and always there. Without the internet and technology, I couldn’t have this blog or post about it on social media. I couldn’t connect as easily to friends that I’ve moved away from. I wouldn’t have devices that could keep up with the tasks I want them to complete, if not for the ever changing and improving technology. I wouldn’t be able to see my bank balance at any moment I wanted to without my smartphone and I would have always had to wait for my bank statement to come in the mail. I can take pictures and then immediately put them into my computer to edit, which means I don’t have to send off film to get it processed or have a darkroom of my own (by the way, I would totally love to have my own darkroom someday, but that’s beside the point).

Those are just a brief few of the positives of technology, especially the internet. Technology opens up a whole new world and to hate it because you don’t understand it, isn’t a good enough reason.

Pointing out all the bad that came from technology isn’t viable either because anything humans touch can be used for bad. We are all human and can have the propensity to do terrible things, but technology didn’t foster that in us. If you want to argue that technology is evil, then you should take a look at the world before it came about. There were still wars, massacres, stealing of information and livelihood, rampant racism, and the list can go on and on…

I choose to see technology as a positive. I definitely won’t ever be naïve to think that people can do and use it for stupid things, but it still can be used for so much good.

Quick Update

This summer I am spending time with my great aunts and uncles in Florida and I’m going to try and keep my blog updated of what’s been happening on this trip.

The first whole week had been just a bunch of hanging out. I dragged my friend, Savannah Rohloff, along with me and she spent that time with me and my relatives. We did everything from visiting all my family that is living in the area to going to the park and reading the day away.

One day we went to see the ocean, but sadly that day didn’t have the best weather, so we didn’t stay for too long. We did eat at this really unique store that had just a few tables for dining in. The food was delicious, with fare that ranged from Panini’s to wonderfully seasoned home cooking. This shop was filled to the brim with beer selections. Being not one particularly fond of beer, I didn’t think it amazing, but it was still pretty cool and the shop had lots of other things to grab my attention. Mostly, it was a store with about four tables that people could stop at for some food.

Savannah (my friend, not me) left a week ago and now I’m ready to buckle down to get to work. One of the big reasons for my trip, is that I am going to help my great aunt Genny with all the genealogy stuff she has collected. I’m planning on helping her type out all her notes she’s written over the long time she has been collecting information and I’m going to put it altogether eventually.

On a more somber note, my aunts have run into a few minor health problems. They are all in their upper eighties to early nineties, so their health isn’t perfect to begin with, but just a few tiny setbacks have happened over the past few days. If you want to send up a quick prayer for them, that would be much appreciated.

Not much else is going on at the moment, but I’m hoping to get back to blogging and writing more now that school and finals are over and I’m starting to settle down here.

Belittling The Right To Feel

In the past few days, I have been thinking a lot about how I really dislike the aspect of our culture that belittles emotional pain.

As Americans, we have a good life and constantly are reminded of those that don’t have all the blessings that we do. I don’t think it is a bad thing for us to be mindful of those less fortunate, but I don’t like when people start to think that they have no right to feel depressed when someone else has it worse off than they do.

The moment that someone believes they don’t have a right to feel anything but good emotions is the moment that terrible things start to happen. Telling yourself that you shouldn’t feel sad just makes you suppress those feelings. That just leads to the endless insanity of denial, which leads to greater problems.

If things are going wrong in your life and it’s got you down, then you have to address that pain. You can’t bury it or belittle it if someone else has a better excuse for being sad. Sometimes depression just happens without a clear reason and saying that you shouldn’t feel it won’t make it go away, or make anything better.

We all have a right to feel. Not feeling makes us numb and unable to deal with our problems. We also need to have potent emotions so we can empathize with others. Feeling prepares you for helping others that are going through hard times. Feeling makes you stronger.

I’ve heard so many stories of people denying their pain and that only ever leads to a big break later. Those emotions don’t die when they are suppressed, but they just grow stronger as you keep feeding them with more bottled feelings. One day they rear their ugly heads and rip you apart.

That’s what happens when people are told they shouldn’t be feeling sad, or when they hear about worse pain that others are experiencing. (Now, don’t misunderstand me, when there are other that are suffering more, those people should still be cared for and have just as much of a right to feel as everyone else. Sure, they may not want to feel any of that pain, but that’s another whole thing.)

We all have emotions for a reason and we are created to feel. We need to work through pain and not brush it off.